Good morning... on my way early, off the wagon just a bit eating, but will more than make up for it.   My life theme is to live each moment like I will never see it again.  Stopped in a small town "Tom Thumb" Store that had one of those "classic" grills.  The smell of fried chicken, the line of flip flopped people waithing for ribs, fried gizzards and livers.

Since I may never be in Florala, Alabama again. But I will never forget the ribs.

I have struggled and struggled with all this promotion stuff.  I have started and stopped so many times over the last 15 years, I have lost count.   I think I may have listed every excuse is this long career.

So instead of running down the list of the "dog ate my homework" or some other lame reason. I have decided to stay away from the "clever" blog, and just with the "Al" blog.  It is gonna be all other the place, and it is starting here, one I never thought I would go to... and that is a fitness blog and story.

Over the past 18 months I have lost a total of 90- pounds with another 33 to go.    I will be updating.

This is my Dad.  He was 40 when he passed.  He passed cause he made bad choices.  I will not make those choices.

It has been a very long time since I have posted on this blog.  Yes, it has been the better part of 18 months... It was a time in which I turned 50 years old. and can now blame old age... I can also blame my own brain, emotion, and too much data overload.  
I am my own man... My own brand, and my own company.

The E Man Top Nine List

David Letterman does a top ten list, there are lists everywhere.

After 21 years in the business, I thought I would give you my top nine comedians or funniest entertainers.

Why? Because it is different than the standard list of ten. My favorite sport is baseball, and there are nine positions.

The most asked question by others: Who makes you laugh? I have never done a list, but I thought in honor of this anniversary maybe I did have a few favorites.

To be honest, I hardly ever watch Comedy. It is my passion, but I really think that you cannot be your best unless it comes from you. But there are some people I have seen, come across, or worked with that have genuinely made me laugh.

I am sure I am forgetting someone, and it is a flexible list, but here we go. done in the form of postions on a baseball field...

Catcher. Louis CK – just caught him on a channel flipping night on Conan. Clearly the funniest comic working at present.

First Base. Billy Chrystal – Enjoyed him more in movies than stand-up. Watch the movie titled Mr. Saturday Night, he wrote, directed, and produced. This is as close to a real life career comedian that has ever been done.

Third Base. John Heald- Yes, it may seem like I am kissing up here. But there is not an entertainer on this planet that has the sense of stage and comic timing. When I write for him, his material is pretty good too. Most of you know John is the top Cruise Director for Carnival. I have watched, and shared a stage with him. He is a real talent.

Second Base. Jay Leno- I worked with Jay on a number of shows in the 1990s when he was hot on Letterman. I am not about the politics or the interview skills, but a pure stand up and a writer, and a guy who can deliver a perfect joke…well, he is the best.

Right Field. Bill Cosby- He is a storyteller. He is able to take the hardest audience, and does the thing that is most important in the business…bring the crowd to him, and not pander to them.

Center Field. George Carlin- He got a little bitter late in his career, but he is a guy who wrote all his own stuff, and had a unique style that worked for him.

Left Field. Johnny Carson- Showing my age here, but those of you who remember him, knows that he made funny out of saying nothing. He could take the hokiest material and make it funny by the audience NOT laughing.

Short Stop. Richard Pryor- Probably goes without saying; many people were offended and laughing at the same time. No one gives him the credit he deserves for doing stories and not just jokes.

Pitcher. Steve Martin- This man will forget more talent than any 100 comics will ever have. He walked away from actual stand up, because he said he said all he could. He wrote movies, stories, books, musical talent. It is just amazing.

Yes, I know, if you are reading this, you have come up with at least 20 others. I probably would have a different list tomorrow. The only southern comic that I would list as honorable mention is Ron White.
I also stayed with celebrities. One day I will give you a list of the funniest comics you never heard of. Of course, I did not include myself on the list, because I am one of a kind!

Make sure you continue to laugh…and send me any well wishes or presents you might like to do to honor the fact that I have stayed out of jail, out of debt, and away from a day job for 21 years…

Too Much At Once...HOW, not WHAT!

Too Much At Once…It Comes Down to HOW, not WHAT!

I have been given a ton of advice…” write your blog”, “start your twitter”, “get your facebook”…etc…etc… “Be Al, be Emmett, get on that show, pitch this idea, update your website!” I am a person who is “anti multi task"! It is just too much to take in, keep up, and understand. I would like to have a "real people" life, too...
It was Labor Day weekend whirlwind of 1990 that I packed my office, left my profession, walked into my “vocation” of entertainment. So in the coming weeks I will have relied on Entertainment, more specific Comedy as my life for 21 years.
Yes, I had been “doing” stuff for about six years prior to that. Open mikes here and there a few auditions, paid shows, and not to mention being an extra in a movie. However, when you make the commitment to your life’s vocation and that’s the way you pay the bills…is becomes a whole new ballgame.
I came in at the end of the comedy boom that started in the late 80’s …and the very beginning of the internet revolution. I was “old school and new school”. I still had all the family issues from relationships, illness, and even the passing of relatives and friends. Just because I made a “big choice” did not mean that everything else was going to change to “fit”…in fact, that’s like taking a half done puzzle, and throwing new pieces into it.
Now, after 21 years, it is time to reflect, refresh, and renew…notice I did not say the word “reinvent”…that’s one of those “pop culture” words that I do not believe in. We grow, we change our minds, and we move on our path…there is no “reinvent”, we just are who we are right now.
I have spent the better part of the last six months reflecting and going thru the history of what I have done, both great decisions, and some really crappy judgments’…Now it is time to really set the direction of today and see where it takes me.
Yes, I believe in goals, but I am not sure that our life value hinges on the achievement of those goals. I really think it is HOW we live our life, not what we accomplish.
What does all this ‘life talk’ brings me back to my first paragraph? Thru all the advice, and the rapid speed change of the world, it comes to a choice. Live your life HOW you choose, or live your life in reaction to what keeps coming at you? I enjoy being funny…period, and I continue to live a FULL life. Sure, I would have changed a million decisions, directions, and actions…but even through the good and the bad that I was handed and brought on myself, I have had twenty-one years of a FULL live.
Why? Comedy is creative and ever changing process. It makes me happy, and gives the world the only thing I can…my effort. You don’t get success or failure you get results. Then you continue to “effort” those results. Most of all, one learns that nothing can be undone, nor do we really know what will happen, we just know what we have now.
My wish for others is that they chose to live a FULL life, according to your values, interest, and passions. Yes, it is a risk, and you get in trouble, you may get judged and talked about by others. Go full or go home!
This all may sound very selfish…what about serving others? Making the world a better place? Putting others ahead of you?
Living your passion and living fully…is the most you can give to the world. If you are doing that, it will all come around, you will find ways to serve, make a difference, and even the times you make the “bad” decision, the right one will come around. If you are living your passion, then you are putting others ahead of you because you give them all you got.
This journey has been twenty-one FULL years. I can write my glass is still half empty; I cannot wait to “fill it” till it overflows.
The world will be a better place for it. But it may not be “updated” on my facebook page…

I AM FAMOUS BY 6PM!

I have made a real attempt at getting my 'social media' together. I am the last of the 'no child left behind' when it comes to all this... i just started 'playing' today, and with some encouragement from my on-line friends, I am up to "ten" likes on my new facebook page...watch out, Larry the Cable Guy! Emmett is hot on the trail. As you can see by the picture, I am not exactly into taking "compelling" pictures... My social media skills are about the same. It is somewhat of a challenge to create all this stuff and take interesting photos, video, audio while on the run to the next show...

It seems like years (which it has been) that I started to try to do all the "things" you have to do to promote your passion. There have been many "starts and stops" hopefully my large caboose can roll down the track a ways this time. They say it takes a Cruise Ship at least 15 minutes to come to a complete stop from when they put on the brakes at sea...well, maybe this big push of social media "mo" can move me forward and not stop for at least a week!

I know that I love doing stand up, and in general being able to make at living with laughter. I am just not sure how much people really want to know. Can I post something a little more clever than "I had a great toothing brushing this morning..."

This is the summer of promotion...hopefully, it keeps my creative mind, or lack thereof going, and people will enjoy the musings.

Ever since I started following Steve Martin on twitter, I really got in the "groove" of this stuff. Steve has forgotten more talent than I will ever have...but he is a real inspiration. And he apparently got stuck in the line for a long time when God was handing out creative talents.

Well, this is it...Emmett, the E Man, and AL...all EXPOSED on the internet... I have done it for years at airport security...why not the web?

Or maybe we better get a great big tent to cover me up!

Lets see how this goes, and thanks for being a part of the E Man Nation.

This edition of Alivers’ Travels takes place from the Carnival Inspiration…We are on the way back to Tampa from Cozumel.
I once did a show in Jacksonville; NC….it is near a ton of Marine Military Bases. The venue I played was totally “Marine”…to say I was little intimidated was an understatement. Before the show, I was looking at all the pictures on the walls. I came across a small poster that said simply “Adapt and Overcome!” with the Marine logo at the bottom. That simple saying hit me at the right time, and needless to write, I changed my attitude, and my show was very well received despite a crowd that probably could have laid me to waste. It changed the way I look at life to this very day.
The reason I write the above is because of my day in Cozumel. It was a miserable day. Not only the heat of July, but the rain just came pouring in, and would not stop. No blue sky, no sunshine, and very little cover to find. Not exactly the kind of day you would see in a Carnival advertisement for a cruise.
I have determined there are three types of people. First there are the ones who expect the worst. “You know if we go, it’s gonna rain! Just the way it goes for me.” The second are the ones who assume that it’s someone’s fault that it rained. They look to pass blame on someone. These two types got exactly what they expected and probably had a terrible time.
Then there are the third type…someone who expects the best day, and adapts to any circumstance that may occur.
During the day, I really ran into each of these people, instead of harping on the first two; let’s take the example of the third group. I saw a couple huddled under a plastic trash bag, absolutely cracking each other up. They said they might as well jump in the pool with all their clothes on because they were soaked already! You could see that they would not let a little liquid sunshine mess up their vacation.
How do you choose to live your life…expecting the worst? Looking for someone to blame? Or looking for the best no matter the circumstance? I my wish am that you will be a “Marine” and adapt and overcome to anything in your life.

me, enjoying a meal in Baltimores' Little Italy...Little did I know that I LOVE A PARADE… My buddy Rob…First time on Stage on the Carnival Pride…Now, Mr. Big Time Comedian! At the moment of this writing, I am in ‘comedy terms’ doing a “back to front” on the Carnival Pride…which means that I get on the back end of one cruise and stay to do the beginning of the next…With Spring Break in full bloom, everyone on the ship is working harder, and giving all ages a great vacation, even when we have overcast weather as we left Baltimore…which I almost didn’t on Sunday. Many of you know that when possible, I hold a comedy seminar on board, and usually follow it up with an ‘open mike’ night giving the guests a few minutes to spend on stage and finding out how doing stand-up comedy feels when you’re the person everyone is looking at. We have given over 100 guests a chance to get in the spotlight that is usually only five minutes, but can seem like five hours when you are trying to make 300 people laugh in the Punchliners Comedy Club…and sometimes you get a person who wants to keep going. That’s why I almost did not make it back to the ship on Sunday. Now a very good friend, Rob Schwartz, was just a guest on the Pride in October of 2009…he decided to go up and did a great job --- usually met with a handshake and maybe a solid gold plastic trophy…but Rob got interested and wanted more. So now over the past couple of years, Rob has kept in touch, found venues and open mikes, while still working his day job in Baltimore. In fact, Rob has opened for me on several land venues in the DC area, and now I can say to him that he is in fact a “real” comic! He is constantly working on material, stage presence and delivery…that’s the key to success is to keep going and not just expect the phone to ring. As Rob lives in Baltimore, and I had the day there, he came by and picked me up at the port, and what I thought would be a nice lunch turned into being a part an adventure that only my alter ego, Emmett would believe! He said “want to take you to this great place in little Italy, its close by, and we can enjoy a great lunch and catch up. I knew he was a real comic when I got in the car, instead of the usual “how’s your family?”, He immediately said “I am working on this new bit in my show”, and started on it, and spent the next half hour working through wording and delivery. Wasn’t too worried, as we got caught in some major gridlock in downtown Baltimore, and he said he knew a way around it…after an hour of just turning down roads going by the same place two of three times, wow…I was just wondering what the heck was happening. With street closures, redirection, and u-turns…we finally got to little Italy about an hour later and I could actually look down the street and see the ship parked! We found out a huge St Patrick’s day festival and parade was going on, and thought by the time we got out of lunch, it would be over, and then a quick ride back to the ship. The little unique restaurant was very old school and even at lunch we ate like Italians do…in long multiple courses. As a fat guy, I can also say that there were too many great items to pass anything up. Great “comedy conversation” great food, and a lot of fun…and Rob even picked up the check. Which means with my meal he is now going to have to find a lot of paying shows to make up for the cost… So, we still had over an hour to make it back to the ship, and I was a bit uneasy, just because I was not familiar with the area. Needless to say…the first street we turned on was completely blocked. Not to worry, Rob grew up here, and “no problem, you will get there in plenty of time”…and another 45 minutes went by… I could tell Rob was a little concerned, as we were the front car on a cross street that was blocked due to the St Patrick’s Day Parade that was on the road we needed to go down to get to the port. I had to be back on board the ship by 3:45pm and it was now 3:21. As I was grabbing the blackberry to email and call Kirk, the Cruise Director, and coming up with excuses that I was going to give to the office…my friend Rob called an audible that once again still makes my head shake. He said, “You want to be in the Parade?”…then I couldn’t believe it. He made a left turn onto the parade route during a break in floats and bands, and the next thing you know our SUV had turned into a part of the Parade! Of course, I am still a comedian, so I said to him, “Roll down your windows” and we both just started waving out the window. The thousands along the parade route just started cheering a waving back! Ha, it didn’t hurt that Rob’s SUV was green, and I happened to have my “Emmett” hunting hat on… I could hear some people along the parade route say “Hey, its ‘Larry the Cable Guy’ and started going nuts … some were rushing up looking for autographs…and as much as I hate being compared to Larry (it was my idea first) --- I was sure happy this time, although I signed the pieces of paper “Emmett Lee Tutwiler, Jr.”…and enjoyed looking in the rear view mirror at the curious looks on their faces when they looked at the signature. We were in the parade about 12 minutes, and as the clock ticked, the turn into the port came up…Rob knocked down three orange cones, and at 3:44, I punched into the ship. Yes, I was a real celebrity for a few minutes, and made the ship on time…now I have no idea if Rob made it out of there, as there was a policeman running toward the SUV as I was running (or walking fast onto the ship)…Actually, he emailed me later, and it turned out the policeman was just helping him get out of the port to avoid the parade with no idea we had just been it… Just another adventure for the life of a couple of comedians, and at least 10 parade viewers who got an autograph of “Emmett”… My best to you all, and see you soon… Larry…err…Al….err…EMMETT